Where I write

Where I write

June 2, 2011

Bathing Suit Shopping is not for Sissies

I went bathing suit shopping yesterday and this is not the bathing suit that I purchased. I have come to the sad realization that my bikini wearing days are over. Actually I came to this realization several years ago, but I must have secretly held out the hope that maybe one day I might wake up one morning and be 21 again. After bounding out of bed with no aches and pains, I would take my cellulite and wrinkle free body,  to the local mall and shop for a teeny tiny bikini like this gal in the photo wears.  I might even buy two because I looked so great in a bikini! Then I'd stretch out beside a pool slathered in baby oil and wait to be admired by all the boys. Then I'd go for a drive in a Trans Am and french kiss beneath the moonlight. Maybe even get a hickey.

I know this has nothing to do with writing or waitressing, but after spending an afternoon beneath the sharp glare of dressing rooms lights, trying on bathing suits yesterday, I realized there was still part of me that thought I could turn back the clock and be my 21 year-old bikini wearing self again. That ship has sailed. That train has left the station, and every other cliche you can think of which means there comes a time when you better embrace what you have instead of wishing for what you once had but ain't ever happening again. Besides, I don't want a hickey. I don't need one more thing that looks like a blotch on me.

There was once a woman I knew, slim, trim, pretty, who wrote an essay about the small pooch on her tummy when she wore a bikini. She evened named this pooch. Seriously. Give me a break No woman who has a flabby belly ever thinks her fat is cute enough to name. Please. That's like wanting it to stick around so you  friend your fat. Who does that?? A guy might name his belly because, well, he's a guy, but not a woman. And it was obvious she could make light of how her tummy looked in a bikini because she was skinny! 

Here's the bathing suit I bought yesterday at my favorite store, Ross. I love a deal. I told Juan (my fashion consultant )at work last night about how it looked and he said I sound as if I'm still in the 60s. At first I thought he was saying I was in my 60s, but then realized he was saying the 1960s. Well, I liked the 1960s.  I was alive in the 1960s which is why I don't wear a bikini anymore. So with my new suit, which I got at a great price, by the way, I can don the skirt when I leave  the water and hide body parts that don't need to be seen. In the water, I can pretend I'm a happy seal in my slick black suit.

Juan says next time he wants to help me shop. I won't be putting myself through another bathing suit shopping experience again for awhile. This last one made me want to rush home and open a bottle of wine. For all women of a certain age, I applaud each of you for having the guts to actually go bathing suit shopping. One more thing why can't dressing room lights be dimmed? I thought the world was going green. Those bulbs in the dressing room are high wattage. And the mirrors in there. I think they are magnified, and once were used in a circus fun house. One of these days I might just give up all together trying to fit in a bathing suit, and go swimming in my clothes. But then that will probably mean I've gone senile. Come to think of it, I won't care what I look like because I won't know who I am.  Maybe then I might start wearing a bikini again.


gloria said...

dear Susy--you are such a wonderful writer! Your stories make me laugh and reflect as well. I love the photos, too, and how you weave in interesting insights. Keep up the inspirational work!!! XXOXOXX

Anonymous said...

Great post! You pretty much nailed why I refuse to even go and buy a bathing suit. I value my self esteem way too much. ;-) As always, I love your sense of humor.

btw, that is a way cute bathing suit and I'm sure you look great.

Stella said...

You are beautiful no matter what you wear. But I agree, those damn fitting room lights, ugh.

SunsetCindi said...

You still got it girlfriend! Besides, it's sexier to be covered a bit more, just like the old movies, when the lovers started to kiss and the screen fades to black. Let's leave a bit to the imagination and at our point in life, we're filled with imagination! Swim on.

Expostulator said...

I am going to have to disagree with you. Without wanting to get myself into trouble, your observations are just so wrong.

angelfawn2005 said...

These day it does not matter if you are big or small. We all are under pressure to fit a certain stereo type. I love the way you express shopping in a easy going way. Woman should not sweat the small stuff, we are beautiful regardless of our size or age. Suzie I've never had the pleasure of meeting you, but you have always expressed yourself in my opinion wonderfully. You have inspired me to write as well. I love your writing.